House of Dankness Review

House of Dankness is on the cusp of breaking out as an example of what the future of dispensaries will look like in Colorado. Unfortunately, they are holding themselves back.

House of Dankness has all the potential in the world, and yet they leave it all on the table. When I drove out to Commerce City I wasn’t excited about the location, but I remained open-minded. You do tend to find diamonds in the rough if you allow yourself to see them. When I walked into House of Dankness, I was pleasantly surprised at how professional and clean it appeared, and when I was let into the shopping area I was blown away.

 

Once checked in, you open a door and step into one of the most professionally laid-out dispensaries in Colorado. The futuristic vibes are impossible to ignore as you look at what could be a jewelry store selling weed. The sleek white and black color scheme remains consistent with the House of Dankness logo branded neatly throughout the shop. House of Dankness shirts, hoodies, dab-mats, and other accessories are neatly displayed on the back wall. As you look to the right, a case within the wall is filled with beautiful, functional works of glass art on display. To the right of that is one of the most impressive trophy cases you will ever see.

 

Beyond the cases is a large flat screen TV with pricing and to the right of that is the check-out bar. All of this circles around the main bar, which displays all the actual weed products. Edibles, concentrates, and of course the flower are on display here. House of Dankness has by far one of the most modern layouts I have seen. The logo on the ceiling is a nice touch, as they are also one of the most well-branded dispensaries I’ve laid eyes on.

 

Unfortunately, photos of the inside of the dispensary were not made available.

 

When I tried to get a feel for House of Dankness on their website, I got a good idea that they were about high-quality flower, but I was pretty unclear about everything else. This isn’t a knock on them. Getting the website together comes with time and House of Dankness does offer online pre-ordering for members, which is something I have not seen before. Heading in I knew I was going to have to find out more about the backstory because I could tell something was going on that wasn’t the norm with a lot of shops.

 

Sure enough, as I checked in it was explained to me that House of Dankness is a by-product of Rare Dankness genetics. I got excited as I found this out because it became clear that I was in for a treat. Lots of places grow their own weed and have a couple house-strains. You won’t find many spots that are in business because the owner runs a company that produces some of the most highly sought after genetics in the cannabis industry. House of Dankness is selling their own product that truly started from the seed.

 

I was ready to geek out about weed with the people who clearly cared about producing such fine herb. I was excited to dive into the genetics, the growing process, and everything that was supposed to set House of Dankness apart. After checking out the expensive glass, scanning through the limited edibles selection, and breezing past the almost non-existent concentrates selection, I got to what I came for – the flower.

 

The guy at the door had boasted about the Rare Dankness genetics that made up all of the House of Dankness strains. One of the few things I could tell from their website was that the flower and the genetics behind the flower were what made House of Dankness special. Like I said, I was ready to geek out. The only problem was, there was nobody to geek out with. The guy behind the counter lacked product knowledge and didn’t have the salesmanship to cover. If I asked anything beyond his opinion, he had to refer to the label or to the genetics booklet – of which I finally just asked for a copy. While the staff was friendly enough, not being able to truly talk about the only thing they really sell is an issue.

 

All House of Dankness talks about is their genetics until you get to the counter, at which point you are on your own besides finding out which strains are Indica and Sativa. I couldn’t get a conversation going because trying to find out more about the flower was useless beyond hearing that it was really good. Ghost Train Haze #1 was supposed to be their best–and one of their only–sativas. I heard about it, I saw pictures of it, but there was none to be had. I wouldn’t usually knock a place for being out of a single strain, but when it is something you boast about and your sativa selection is already limited, how do you not have copious amounts?

 

I had to settle for the eye test on how to choose what I would try. The rest of my information was from the genetics book. For a place set up to be at the top of their game, their staff really lets them down. When your business revolves around high-end genetics, and producing award-winning flower, having a staff that cares about these things would go a long way. House of Dankness lets their weed speak for itself and at the end of the day sell itself. That’s fine–they have great weed–but if they want to stand out, the fix is an easy one: get your staff onboard. I’ve never been in a dispensary where the budtender didn’t at least have strong opinions on at least the majority of their strains, House of Dankness made that a first.

 

Tangie Ghost Train – a cross of Tangerine Kush and Ghost Train Haze #1 – is one of the most interesting strains I have ever put under my nose for a scent test. The spicy fruitiness of the Tangerine jumps out before being almost overtaken by the powerful haziness of the Ghost Train. This cross gives you the sativa up without the edge from the Ghost Train. While it doesn’t quite break 20% THC-A, the stony-high is undeniably cerebral.

Tangie Ghost Train weed strain
Tangie Ghost Train

 

Sounds good, doesn’t it? I could keep going, too. With so much care involved in the growing of the plants, House of Dankness could almost write essays about each strain if they wanted to .

Pamelina weed strain House of Dankness
Pamelina

While the flower is as good if not far better than advertised, and the dispensary itself is built for the future, they are the only ones keeping them from being one of the best dispensaries around Denver. It is hard to compete way out in Commerce City without a great sales staff, a lacking selection, and fairly high prices.

 

If you aren’t a flower-head, House of Dankness doesn’t have much for you to choose from besides Incredibles and their selection of branded merchandise. The flower is truly top-shelf and, like I’ve said, House of Dankness has all the potential to become one of the best dispensaries in Denver. However, without a knowledgeable staff, great selection, pricing, or location, I can’t give House of Dankness more than 2.5 leaves. The half-a-leaf is for the potential and the first two are for the shop and flower. I really hope that I can come back here down the line and up the rating, but for now, House of Dankness has a ways to go. If you do go check out House of Dankness, let them know that Zach sent you!

 

2.5/5 Leaves

Denver weed rating